(breathes in deep breathe)
life has not been kind to me lately. Let me tell you about what happened last May.

May 8, 2008 my dad died at 8:35 pm. He had a severe stroke two weeks earlier on April 24. My dad retired on his dad's birthday last March and died on his mom's birthday. He was only 55. 10 more days until his birthday. Those were the hardest 2 weeks of my life.
My birthday was April 9. Everything happened too soon.
I'm not happy that he died but I am happy he didn't live through the stroke because if he had lived, he wouldn't be able to move, speak, or even recognize anyone. My dad would never have wanted to live like that. I'm sure of it. I don't think I've ever been so depressed or empty in my whole life. It's one of the most painful things ever. It's made a huge piece of my heart die/break. I feel so numb to emotion now. It almost hurts to know that.
I have a friend whose mom has a boyfriend that lives far away. She's imposing on my mom to let her daughter stay with us for a week. My friend is only going to stay for this Thursday to Saturday. I feel like I'm being used. My mom told me this. I'm ignorant. At least that's what I think, and it makes me feel so stupid. But if I feel so ignorant, why do i keep on wanting to close my ears and eyes to the world. It's so difficult. I want to cry. It feels so empty. I wish my dad were here. That's why i feel so empty.
I miss my best friend so much. We don't go to the same school. She came over last Friday to Sunday. Her and the other friend who's using me and another. We kept bugging her about straightening her hair but she never did. The one who was using me kept bugging her. I feel like i wronged my best friend. I miss her so much and I just want to apologize. We've been friends since we were 2. I miss her so much.

HELLO! For christmas my little brother got Guitar Hero III. I played it like a few days before christmas at a friends house and i thought it was soooooooooo much fun! Haha! I think i play it more than he does! oh well.I started school last Tuesday and it is such a pain! I have to wake up early now! is what i want. I love sleeping in! Now i can't! NOOOOOOOOOO!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I got a fricken D+ on my math final. I didn't study. I don't really know how to study for math anyways. I know it's like accelerated Algebra and all but our teacher didn't teach us for shit.
It aaaaaaallllll started with this door competition. The b set class that had the best decorated door won a pizza party and stuff. anyways, we just took a quiz kind of thing that didn't count for our grade and were correcting it alright. everyone doesn't have a clue of what the hell they just did and has questions. she stops everything and says "Oh. We're late! Let's talk about plans for decorating the door." Can you believe it? she cares more about decorating a fricken door than the test that was coming up the next day! I was so mad! we came in second place anyways for the door contest!
I hate finals. I did good on my Spanish and history finals. I got A's on those. :-D
I finished finals yesterday. I'm so glad. anyways.

I wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

Random Crap. The diary of Me! Wednesday 12/12/07

Man. Do I feel crappy this week. To start this week off let’s start with Monday. Monday, I forgot my planner so I don’t know my schedule and I have to write down my in something other than my agenda and remember it’s still there. Which I did…thankfully. I had to ask someone else for the schedule though. Oh well. Not too bad right?
Well then let’s move on to Tuesday. Tuesday, I’m as tired as fricken hell. I wanted to go home and go to sleep, but I decided that that was the day I would start studying for finals which are next week. So I grab a whole ton of books and shove em’ all into my backpack except for my big history book and my Spanish book. I carry those two around. Well I went to watch the boys’ basketball games that went on in our school’s gym. I set the books down under my backpack and forgot they were there when I left. So I couldn’t study for history or Spanish that night.
Wednesday. Wednesday I didn’t understand that we were supposed to print out the homework sheets for math instead of the homework scheduled stuff. So I don’t do my homework for math and jot down a ton of random answers in class. Unfortunately that was my second class of the day. Thank god she didn’t collect them. (phew) Well before school had started, a few friends and I were in another classroom and one of my frends asked me to open this big flavored water thing for her and I did. She told me to open it slowly and I did. Well the thing squirted everywhere! (mainly on me though) yeah. So it’s fricken 20 degrees outside and im soaked in water. (tear). Jk. I don’t cry.
Well. I couldn’t find the books so now I have to get new ones. Total cost altogether is around $200. Just for TWO BOOKS!!!! Unbelievable!

Well now. I’m gonna wish everyone who is going through a bad time right now. I know there are others out there who are going through even worser times than me and I wish you even more good tidings. I know I shouldn’t be complaining because these are such trivial things and I’m sorry. But I hope everyone else’s week goes well.

And I'm sorry for everyone who likes wintr and the cold and stuff, but I seriously hate the cold like crazy.

man am i tired. i got back from my cousins graduation from college not too long ago. She got her masters for anestheseology or something like that. I'm sleeping at her studio. woops. i meant staying. I can't wait to get home tomorrow. All i wanna do is sleep. but i have homework unfortunately. oh well.
stupid science. my teacher just finishes explaining a project we have to do last friday. he makes it due monday! I can't believe it! at least tuesday! wednesday to sunday is thanksgiving break.
Oh well. I'm tired.

I'm going to stay online for a little bit longer because i hafta wake up early to go home tomorrow.
bye-bye!