(breathes in deep breathe)
life has not been kind to me lately. Let me tell you about what happened last May.

May 8, 2008 my dad died at 8:35 pm. He had a severe stroke two weeks earlier on April 24. My dad retired on his dad's birthday last March and died on his mom's birthday. He was only 55. 10 more days until his birthday. Those were the hardest 2 weeks of my life.
My birthday was April 9. Everything happened too soon.
I'm not happy that he died but I am happy he didn't live through the stroke because if he had lived, he wouldn't be able to move, speak, or even recognize anyone. My dad would never have wanted to live like that. I'm sure of it. I don't think I've ever been so depressed or empty in my whole life. It's one of the most painful things ever. It's made a huge piece of my heart die/break. I feel so numb to emotion now. It almost hurts to know that.
I have a friend whose mom has a boyfriend that lives far away. She's imposing on my mom to let her daughter stay with us for a week. My friend is only going to stay for this Thursday to Saturday. I feel like I'm being used. My mom told me this. I'm ignorant. At least that's what I think, and it makes me feel so stupid. But if I feel so ignorant, why do i keep on wanting to close my ears and eyes to the world. It's so difficult. I want to cry. It feels so empty. I wish my dad were here. That's why i feel so empty.
I miss my best friend so much. We don't go to the same school. She came over last Friday to Sunday. Her and the other friend who's using me and another. We kept bugging her about straightening her hair but she never did. The one who was using me kept bugging her. I feel like i wronged my best friend. I miss her so much and I just want to apologize. We've been friends since we were 2. I miss her so much.